How to be a Seme in 40 Days
by fiftysix-luver
Summary: Watanuki is challenged to be a seme in 40 days or a worldwide humiliation is waiting for him... 104/DouWata, Established Relationship.
1. Prologue: the Deal

56: Yo, I'm the writer of this story, 56 (fiftysix)

**56: Hi, I'm the writer of this story, 56 (fiftysix). This is my first xxxHolic fic so be kind. Oh, and this is made for only a few minutes during my spare time and I will edit it soon.**

**Watanuki: and aren't you forgetting something...??**

**56: Oh, I don't feel like it. Why don't you?  
**

**Watanuki: -sighs- Alright. Me, Yuuko-san, and every character that will appear in this story is entirely belong to Clamp. None, except OC which won't likely to appear in this story, is belong to 56. And Doumeki is belong to me -evil grin-**

**56: Whatever. Here goes nothing!**

.104.

"I believe you're not a seme, are you, Watanuki-chan?"

Kimihiro Watanuki stopped from his bookshelf cleaning duty and turned around to see his boss, whom smirking evilly, face facing an old computer.

"What did you just say, Yuuko-san??"

Yuuko, not even bother to see Watanuki, replied, "I said, I believe you are not a seme."

"YOU ARE STILL WRITING THAT—THAT PIECE OF JUNK!?"

She murmured, "yes," which made Watanuki sighed.

He always hated Yuuko when she was writing that 'fan-fiction', or whatever it is called. Yes, she hated Yuuko, hated her drinking habit and her I-know-everything-but-won't-tell-you-and-instead-I-will-say-hitsuzen attitude. But he hated her _more_ when she wrote those fan-fictions.

Not to mention those fan-fictions she wrote were mostly about him and his relationship with his boyfriend, Doumeki.

"Yuuko-san!! Do you remember what I told you about those fan-fictions?!" He screamed, stomping to Yuuko and her beloved computer and, without waiting for her answers, he ranted, "I told you to stop writing that!! This is _MY_ relationship, _MY _life, and Doumeki is _MY _boyfriend!!"

Yuuko paid no attention. Watanuki kept ranting.

"AND there's no such thing as seme-uke relationship! Doumeki and I are both male, thank you very much!!"

Yuuko finally turned around to see Watanuki and smirked. "But _you_ are an uke, Watanuki. You flail, you blush a lot, you are the one who is always protected by Doumeki, _and _you are beautiful."

"I do NOT flail! And I can't help it if I blush, it's a normal reaction for a human! I'm human and I'm normal, therefore I blush! And—"

"Blushing is a normal reaction for human _girl_, Watanuki-_chan_. You are almost like a girl, sometimes I think it's only because hitsuzen that you are happened to be a boy," Yuuko snapped.

Watanuki was red with anger.

"I AM A 100 MAN! I'm NOT some chicks that happened to have a dick!!"

His retort apparently had no effect on Yuuko since she had already turned back to her computer and continued her story. Watanuki stared at the monitor.

_What's so fun about writing someone else's relationship anyway?! And most importantly my relationship! And those words, oh my God, as far as I acknowledge internet can be opened by 4__th__ grader. What is she trying to do, poisoning children's mind? And—_

His mind stopped working for a second. Was that a word 'pregnant' that he just read? And did that word was in the same line with his name? It couldn't be, NO WAY, Yuuko wouldn't have written that kind of Male-is-magically-pregnant stories would she?

Oh, who was he kidding?? It was probably the first thing she did!

"YUUKO-SAN," He forced a grin on his face, "WHAT. STORY. DO. YOU. WRITE."

"Do you actually need me to answer that??"

"I. MEAN. WHAT. IS. THE. PLOT."

Yuuko sighed like knowing this would happen from thousand years before century. "It's about you and Doumeki. One day, you got pregnant and Doumeki—"

"WHATDIDYOUJUSTSAY." He interrupted, fist clenching so tight that it hurt; not that it mattered though, what mattered was that he just heard a word 'pregnant' and 'Watanuki' in the same sentence without any girl references at all.

"I said, _you_ got _pregnant_ and Doumeki—"

"YOU MAKE ME _PREGNANT_!?" He screamed, frantically moving his hands in a cat-like motion, "What in the world are you thinking?! AND I DON'T WANNA HEAR THE 'IT'S HITSUZEN' ANSWER!! I mean, you can just go make Doumeki pregnant or something, but I CAN'T be, in any means, PREGNANT!!"

Yuuko shook her head. "Watanuki, you are an uke. Doumeki is a seme. No seme shall be pregnant in any fic. Therefore, you are pregnant," she explained easily like telling today's weather.

Watanuki ran forward to grab—or better yet, destroy—the computer but Yuuko was in his way, making him grabbed her shoulder instead.

"You can't make me an uke!" Yuuko opened her mouth to answer as he added, "Nor make me pregnant!"

"Why can't I? It's my fic, Watanuki-chan."

"You still can't!! And you _won't _because if you do, I won't make you your favorite dish, _ever again!" _He emphasized the last two words and glared. But to his horror, Yuuko's expression didn't change, it became brighter to say the least.

"Well, why don't we make a deal?"

Watanuki frowned. He already didn't like where this was going...

"What deal?"

"If you change your behavior and be a seme, I won't post this fan-fiction to the internet. But if you can't, you mustn't stop me for posting it."

Watanuki knew 'mustn't stop me for posting it' meant 'mustn't stop me for posting, writing more, requesting for a fan art and distributing some doujinshis'. But like he had any other option.

"Ok," he released his grip, "I'll take it."

"Wait! There shall be a deadline too, you know."

"WHAT?! There are no such rules!"

"It goes without saying."

"Oh well—a year."

"That's _not_ acceptable! 2 weeks, exactly 14 days."

"NO WAY! 9 Months!"

"Your soon-to-be child would've been a new-born child by that time, Watanuki. 29 days."

"NOT IN REAL LIFE! 104 days!"

"30 days. I'm adding 1 precious day, Watanuki-chan."

"90 days!"

"31 days. A whole month."

"60 days!"

"I'm writing..." she turned around to face her computer.

"ARGGH—ALL RIGHT!! 40 DAYS!!"

There was silence at first, but it was quickly broken by Yuuko's giggle.

"Alright. 40 days."

"Yeah. 40 days."

"We got a deal?" She said more seriously, though her smirk wasn't change—and it would've been wider if it could. Watanuki thought for a while, calculating his possibilities...

He then decided he was bad at calculation and sealed the deal with a simple word.

"Yes."

.104.

**56: Well, that was the first chapter! This chapter will quickly be renovated in a few days but for now, this is the chapter.**

**And I'll continue this story if I know someone will read this. So review please, that's the only way I can know you're waiting for the next chap.**

**Until then, see ya!**


	2. One: It Just Happens

56: Ok, this isn't good

**56: Ok, this isn't good. I haven't even corrected the first chapter and I'm posting the second one! Oh well, I've had 3 chapters finished in my computer anyway...**

**Watanuki: You lied. Liar.**

**56: Uke.**

**Watanuki: AM NOT! Aarrgh—wait and see...**

**56: I'm waiting.**

**Watanuki: whatever! I'm just here to say that every single character in this story isn't owned by 56—she's in no way would be as great as Clamp! And Doumeki is still owned by me.**

**56: Hmph. Uke.**

**Watanuki: **_**what?**_

**56: Nothing. –whispers- stay idiot, Watanuki!**

.104.

"I want to be the seme."

Shizuka Doumeki frowned at his boyfriend. It was a normal class and the teacher, as usual, had been mumbling some unimportant things in front of the class room. It was usual, normal, ordinary, habitual...

...and then those lines came out of Watanuki's mouth.

Yes, Watanuki was an idiot and bizarre and all, but who would expect such words coming out of that lips? At this time? This situation? And couldn't he wait until the lunch?? _Oh, well,_ he thought, _he's never been predictable after all._

Biting his lip to stop the urge to smirk, he replied.

"Idiot."

As always, Watanuki started to move his hands frenziedly that almost resemble a wet-angry-furious cat in many ways, though this time weren't as weird as always—considering the situation.

"_Who_ did you call an idiot?!"

"Let me think. I think there are two possibilities. First one is you, the second one is you. Oh wait, silly me. _It's you,_" the taller boy replied sarcastically. Watanuki glared murderously, his mind wondering the reason why he fell in love with the other boy at the first place.

"Look, I'm being serious."

"Oh, and the cows can fly now."

"_I'M SERIOUS!!_"

Doumeki amazed at the boy. Why would someone be serious at this kind of topic? He meant, seme and uke...

"It just happens, Kimihiro."

Doumeki always liked the way the shorter boy blushed every time he said his name. But this time, the said boy didn't only blush. Watanuki frowned.

"What do you mean 'it happens'?!"

"Just as it means. It's under someone skin, running through one's veins."

Watanuki's expression saying everything—it was the I-don't-get-it expression. "Ok, tell me one reason why I should be an uke."

Seeing how fast Doumeki could think of one, Watanuki quickly added, "_I mean_ _three_. Think three reasons why I should be an uke."

Doumeki quickly held his index finger. "Reason number 1. The eye rule."

"The eye rule? I've never heard of—"

"Every yaoi fan-girls will know this—ask Kunogi or whoever. The one with bigger eyes is always the uke."

"How can I be the uke just because my eyes are bigger than yours??" He retorted. Doumeki shrugged in response.

"Don't ask me, I don't write the rules, I just know it's one of the basics," he then held both his index and middle fingers, "reason number 2. The height rule."

"The height rule...?"

"The taller one is the seme."

"Can't argue with that."

"Reason number 3," Doumeki held his ring finger to join his index and middle fingers, "you talk like a girl."

_Ok,_ thoughts running through Watanuki's head, _reason number 1 and 2, though illogical, are still acceptable. But reason number 3..._

"I DON'T TALK LIKE A GIRL!!" He hissed. He almost screamed actually, but he still knew where he was and, since his grade had never been outstanding, he behaved. A bit.

"I don't even think you can spell 'boy-talk'."

"I can!"

"You can't. Show me how you ask a girl to go out. Boys style."

"I CAN! I can say, like—" he blushed a bit before saying, "Hi there chick, I'm not desperate, and you're definitely not my only selection—but I'm taking time out of my life to watch a chick flick or two with you, so I might as well look like sex while doing so. So you wanna go out with me?"

There was total silence.

_Awkward_ silence.

If the guy in front of him wasn't Doumeki, that guy would've rolled on the floor laughing. But this was Doumeki. The archer's eyes widened and he couldn't hide an amused smile. Not to mention some students who sat around them heard those words and stared at him.

It was _humiliating_.

"DON'T LAUGH!!" he roared and waved his clenched fists on the air.

Unfortunately for Watanuki, the teacher had mistaken his waves and thought that Watanuki would like to answer his questions voluntary.

Watanuki's heart jumped a bit when he heard the teacher asked, "Yes, Watanuki, what is the answer to number 2?"

"Thomas Jefferson!!" He cried out randomly.

Then blushed deeply in embarrassment as he realized his fault.

"Idiot," Doumeki whispered from behind, "this is _math._"

He decided he would _never, ever_ bring this subject again.

.104.

Sweeping the gymnasium as detention, he thought about his deal with Yuuko. He still got 39 days left—or should he say he _only_ got 39 days left? He knew he couldn't win the deal by himself; he got to search for help.

He decided he would either go to Himawari or Kohane. Or both. As long as it wasn't mentally-tiring humiliation.

He sighed and continued sweeping.

.104.

**56: fastest update from me, **_**ever**_**. But don't expect the next chapter will be this fast.  
**

**Um, anyway, review, ok? If I get enough reviews, I think I will edit the first chapter and update this story. I think.**

**Alright, hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**


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